Monday, 17 December 2012

In fact, we started off with two or three different shells and the shell had life of its own.

With apologies to Ken Thompson, this is a list derived from the wafflings residents of a certain UK IRC channel. The conversation happened several years ago but I was reminded of it again today from a conversation on that same channel.

No names have been kept to project the guilty.

/bin/bush - a shell that steals and lies?
/bin/cash - displays adverts before each prompt
/bin/crash - Microsoft shell
/bin/mash - requires
/bin/hush - terse output
/bin/irish - only shell that finds jerkcity funny
/bin/rush - über-optimised for speed, but might not actually work correctly
/bin/flash - proprietary shell that displays adverts and cartoons and hangs periodically
/bin/welsh - whinges about people not using it, but then steals features from other shells in order to actually make sense
/bin/rehash - never actually runs any program, just uses markov chains to construct output from stuff it has seen before.
/bin/wash - will remove lint in your scripts if you let it
/bin/parish - prays for the successful exit of every command
/bin/punish - symlink to /bin/csh
/bin/sheepish - apologises when $? is not zero
/bin/diminsh - decrements all result codes by one
/bin/lavish - and you thought bashisms were bad...
/bin/brainwash - once you've tried it, you'll believe it's the only shell in existence
/bin/hoggish - written in Java
/bin/reversepolish - arguments order different in go must
/bin/ganesh - no subprocess dares exit zero for fear of being removed from the system
/bin/roguish - every day is April 1st as far as it is concerned
/bin/macintosh - it's shiny, has *loads* of things you think you can poke at, yet it only actually responds to a single key on the keyboard and has no useful features for fear of confusing the user
/bin/lush - garbles output from processes like a drunkard
/bin/snobbish - you're not good enough to use it
/bin/thrush - it itches
/bin/vanquish - kills processes mercilessly
/bin/tush - pert
/bin/fetish -> /bin/zsh
/bin/skirmish - multi-user shell
/bin/whiplash - gets invoked if you break too hard
/bin/newsflash - BREAKING NEWS pid 1234 terminated
/bin/mulish - DJB does Shell
/bin/hsilop - arguments order different in go must
/bin/whitewash - government approved
/bin/trish - for tri-state hardware
/bin/jdsh - it sucks...
/bin/flesh - optimised for viewing p0rn


  1. /bin/jokish - has been used to write this post!
    pretty good, tough!

  2. If you want your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (no matter why you broke up) you must watch this video
    right away...

    (VIDEO) Want your ex CRAWLING back to you...?